Muck Or Nettles
by Invader Johnny
Summary: Ivy seeks freedom, not for herself but for her dear friend Harley, but in order to do that she first has to get rid of The Joker... Permanently... But, will it be worth it?


_**Title: Muck Or Nettles.**_

 _ **Writer: Invader Johnny.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, it belong to Bob Kane and Warner Brothers, simple as that, OK?**_

 _ **Plot: Ivy seeks freedom, not for herself but for her dear friend Harley, but in order to do that she first has to get rid of The Joker... Permanently... But, will it be worth it?**_

 ** _Author Notes: I think that it's about damn time I wrote another Harley/Ivy story, since my first one was way back in 2010, yeah a long time ago, but unlike my first one which was rather sweet and full of tender affection between the women, THIS story is going to have some unfortunate repercussions for our favourite villainous duo._**

 ** _What can I say? It's pretty obvious to anyone whose seen the series or read the comics that Ivy hates the Joker with an everlasting passion because of the abuse he delivers both verbally and physically towards Harley Quinn._**

 _ **So it got me thinking, why hasn't she tried to kill the clown prince of crime? Ya know, other than being a suicide task, but still I think Ivy would take the risk because she cares for Harley and wants to set her free, plus it has been confirmed that both Ivy and Harley are girlfriends "without the jealousy of monogamy."**_

 _ **This is my take on how it could go between the dangerous "love triangle" I mean who would want to get between these three weirdos right?**_

 _ **So read, review and enjoy!**_

* * *

"Wakey wakey _**clown**_ "

The pale maniac, groaned, moving his arms and legs in an attempt to get the feeling back in his body, completely unaware that he was wrapped from neck to toe in vines.

Currently he was also unable to see, some very strong, painful vines were covering his eyes, so he couldn't see where he was, which of course was a greenhouse the floral villain had been using as a temporary home, the least he knew of his surroundings the better.

"Ugh... I got a headache like you _wouldn't_ believe" The Joker said laughingly "What did _do_ last night?... Was I at a fun little shindig where Bats hit me too hard?"

The clown then pretended to think " _Nah_... I would be at my home away from home then... Come to think of it, I feel crazy, _good_ crazy, like a jackhammer opened up my head and my juices splattered all over in a _chaotic_ explosion for all to see"

"Shut up clown!" Poison Ivy ordered with a sneer "Can't you _ever_ take anything seriously?"

The Joker's smile felled down immediately, he _knew_ that voice, he loathed that voice a little less than he hated Batman and that was saying something.

"Tsk tsk, didn't your mommy ever tell you it's not nice to steal very handsome people?" He mocked "What would she say if she saw you now?"

Ivy slapped him, _hard_ "Didn't I tell you to be quiet?!"

"So you did" He agreed, a gleeful smirk appearing on his pale features "But being quiet has never been my strong suit, after all there's no punchline in that, is there _Red?"_

She slapped him again "You don't _**get**_ to call me that!" Ivy bellowed darkly "Only **_one_** person gets to call me that!"

"Really?" The Joker asked patronisingly "Is that like your little pet name Harley calls you when you are being naughty?"

" ** _SHUT UP!_** "

"Why so serious _Red_?"

"What happens between Harley and I, **_stays_** between Harley and I!"

"Ah, hit a nerve there did _I?_ " He taunted cruelly "I can see why Harley, _**my**_ Harley by the way seems too fond of you Red, you have spunk... To bad it's in all the wrong priorities... I mean saving plants, what a waste of time!"

"First of all, she's not yours, she belongs to no one!" Ivy growled dangerously "Second of all, insult my plants again, and it will be the last thing you'll ever do you sick bastard!"

His response? An insane set of laughs that would make anyone nearby get the chills.

 ** _"What the fuck does Harley see in this degenerate freak of nature?!"_**

"She's not mine you say?" He mocked "Oh I believe you're the one who's wrong my dear, last I checked she does whatever I ask her to do, I scream, yell, I punch the daylight out of her and she still comes back to me like a lost puppy... Sounds to me like I have her mind snd heart set on yours truely, and why wouldn't she? I am after all _unforgettable_ "

"What you _**are**_..." Ivy hissed hatefully "Is a psychopathic monster with no regard for human life!"

The Joker guffaws, noticing the irony behind Ivy's cutting words, wether she noticed it or not wasn't his concern, after all he only wanted to get under her skin, and to have some _fun_ while doing it so "Oh, _flattery_ will get you no where my dear"

The redhead couldn't take it anymore, in her growing anger she walked closer to the shackled clown, took one of her legs back and then hit him in a place no man should ever be kicked in.

His response made her feel better.

" _ **AH**_!" The Joker's voice hit a few octaves too hight as he bellowed out in pain "Oh my jewels!"

Ivy walked away from the screaming madman to get something out of a table nearby, one that had several gardening instruments, some that more modificated to take her of her more... _Feisty_ babies.

The female criminal knew from Harley that the Joker was immune to several types of toxins, so poisoning was completely out of the question, and if she was honest with herself even if he wasn't immune to poisons, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of dying in such a way, she had too much respect for her plans to waste such unique and precious resources on this crazy creep.

Instead she wanted to give him a piece of his own medicine, she would hurt him, like he had previously done so with Harley and after he begged for mercy, she would dispose of him.

The Joker was going to perish in a very demeaning and undignified way if Ivy had anything to see about it.

She was going to set Harley free if it was the last thing she did.

Because she loved the blonde woman and she deserved to be set free, but in order to do that the Joker had to be out of the scene.

 _Permanently_.

The redhead held an old scythe, a grim smile appearing on her vengeful young face.

"I'll save you for last"

Once again the woman started to look again for the right set of took for this particular _weed_ that needed to be removed.

Eventually she settled on a sickle **.**

 **"** Prepare to feel _extreme_ pain you sick twisted son of a bitch"

"Gimme your best shot Red!"

The woman smirked evilly "Oh believe me I plan on doing just that."

Ivy was so deep into her vengeful actions that she didn't see her plants moving, trying to tell her that they had an unexpected visitor.

* * *

Harley was worried about her puddin', he didn't come back from his last night drive to the gym... Or was it an office full of bystanders? She couldn't remember, the point was that the pale man was gone and rhe was worried.

 _"What if the bat finally got to him?"_ She thought scared _"What if the coppers finally shot him? I need to find him! But I can't do it alone, I need help!"_

So she went to the only person who could help her, because why wouldn't she? Pam, better known as Ivy was her best friend and she had told her that whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on or help of any kind, she was her best choice.

Harley decided to take her up on that offer, mostly because no one she knew that no one else else would assist her in finding her puddin', very few were that brave.

 _"Guess it's up to me now, don't worry puddin, I'll find you!"_

Harley quickly made it to the greenhouse outside of Gotham, since she was only person (excluding nature) who remotely knew where Pam's flowery hideouts tended to be, this one being the most recent, if not slightly huge; with a lot of space for any plant her friend brought in to take care of undisturbed, Harley once joked it was a hotel for plants while Ivy preferred the term "Orphanage for mistreated plants"

She briefly chuckled fondly at the memory.

But as quickly as her smile came, it went away "Now is _**not**_ the time to go down memory lane, puddin needs me to find him!"

Harley determined to do just that walked towards her friend's hide out "I just need to make a pit stop first"

As she did so, a growing hatred for this unkown kidnapper grew _"The B-Man couldn't have done it,nee would never have the same fun as Mr. J, but whoever has him, **will** pay!"_

* * *

Back inside the greenhouse, Poison Ivy was having a blast hurting the Joker, each thing she did to him was filled with pent up rage, for every abusive thing he did to Harley, the only person she _ever_ loved.

Every hit, every punch, every scream he handed her always made her blood boil, and the worst of it all? She knew the Blonde sidekick would continue to suffer this abuse.

Because as smuck as she hated to admit it, the joker was right about one thing, Harley _was_ like a lost puppy looking for a master.

So she had to cut the leash.

The clown prince of crime never once screamed out in pain, he just laughed and laughed the harder she gave him any sort of pain, it got to the point that his insane giggles filled the greenhouse.

It was an insult to injury.

"Will... You... Stop... Laughing!"

The Joker smirked, even if Ivy couldn't see his eyes, she _knew_ he had a look of crazed delight.

"Now, why would I want to do that?" He asked happily "I'm having way too much fun... The more scars you give the more poor _innocent_ Harley will want to shower me with gifts and attention, it's what she does after all, she _loves_ me that much"

 ** _"SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!"_**

"Tsk, tsk" The man teased "I believe that's what _I_ should be telling _you_ "

He laughed once again "Cruel fate, I suppose, you should be thanking me"

 _ **"THANKING YOU?!"**_

"Why sure, I mean didn't it ever occurred to you that if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't even _be_ in your life right now?... Pathetic as it is right now"

 _ **"ENOUGH!"**_

"Oh... Don't like hearing the _truth_ eh?" He joked pleasantly "That's fine, after all who would want to acknowledge what's right in front of them? I mean it's only human nature... _Oops_."

"I said _**enough**_!" Ivy bellowed madly,me as she stabbed him in the leg.

"Ah... Steel... My old friend"

"You lived long enough" She hissed "More than you deserve you damn freak!"

"Maybe... Maybe not, who can truely say?... Right now I feel like a kid in a candy store!"

"Not for long"

Ivy had already had enough hearing from this maniac, she was going to finish her job, clearly any type pain no matter how extreme wasn't making any impact on the clown, if anything it was like she was giving the bastard a relaxing massage, so it was down to the main event.

The pale green woman grabbed her trusty scythe "The perfect took for the job" She said, look ing at the blade like a child getting an early Christmas present.

She turned around to face the madman, he of course continued to defy her by smirking in her direction.

"Is the night over?" He asked in mock dissapointment "Oh phooey, I knew you were a party popper!"

"The night _is_ over" She admitted "But only for you!"

The redhead lifted her tool, ready to strike the maniac with all her might.

"One swing and it will be all over"

"Not with the way your been hitting all night"

With an Indian yell, Ivy finally struck down the Joker, forever ending his reign of terror over Gotham City.

 _Over Harley._

The tired redhead looked at her handy work, panting as the Joker's rolled on the ground, still smiling.

Blood all over her precious grass.

With a disgusted sneer, she moved her hands to control the vines that had the Joker's body strapped to the tree, dumping it like a sack of old potatoes.

"It's done"

"Red?"

Poison Ivy's blood turned ice cold once she heard her nickname.

 _"No no no no no no"_ She thought in fear _"She can't be here... Not now!"_

Slowly the green woman turned around to meet face to face with the only other person that she saw as an equal and immediately regretted it.

The look on Harley's face was enough to send chills down her spine, it was a mixture of betrayal, sadness and contempt.

... Directed at _her_.

"How could you?" The blonde asked in agony "I thought you were my friend!"

"I am your friend Harley!" Poison Ivy answers in a small voice "That's why I killed him... I had to set you free... Free from whatever control he had over you, he was a monster! Please Harley, you must have _**seen**_ that!"

"What I saw was the person I _**once**_ called my friend, murder the only man I ever loved!" Harley answered ominously.

 ** _"Don't say that" She pleaded desperately "Please don't say that! I am your friend!"_**

The blond woman walked up to her and slapped her, crying while doing so. "Don't ever come near me again Red!"

Her tears ran down her fading make up "You're dead to me"

She then ran away from the horrific sight, leaving both the corpse of the man she loved and the woman, whose heart she just ripped apart.

After several uncomfortable moments, Poison Ivy finally crumbled to her knees, sobbing at this unexpected turn of events, her plants tried to calm her down, to no avail.

She may have freed Harley from the abusive homicidal clown prince of crime.

But in the end, that didn't matter.

Because The Joker _had_ his last laugh.

* * *

 ** _Phew! That was quite intense, wasn't it?._**

 ** _Now I bet you're are all wondering, why didn't Harley held onto the Joker's lifeless body or at the very least take it with her? In my mind she was too hurt by Ivy's "betrayal" so I don't think she would want to be near her._**

 ** _Truth be told I originally had planned for Poison Ivy to accidentally kill Harley with a gun since she certainly would take a bullet for the Joker, but then I considered that it would set a hopeless future for her since indeed the only person that matters to her is gone._**

 ** _I admit, that the alternative ending in retrospect wasn't any better, the relationship between Harley and Ivy took a severe hit to say the least but I do think that if the Joker died, he would eventually be forgotten like the Arkham knight game showed us._**

 ** _So with time Harley will heal and Pamela will be waiting, or so I want to believe, as well as I'm sure you readers hope so as well, the ending is up to interpretation by the way._**

 ** _Anyway, what do you guys think? Did I make the interaction between Poison Ivy and The Joker believable or not? After all I wanted to portray the animosity they have for each other very well._**

 ** _So you see the button down there? Review and let me know._**

 ** _On a final note: The name of this fic literally means "All Or Nothing" alluding to Ivy's big gamble._**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


End file.
